Muddy Mayhem 2012

Ah, so it's more than a few weeks later, but the mud was so thick, the riding so hard, the weekend so awesome despite the mud Gods' best efforts, that it is still fresh in my memory. Here's my post-post-race report.

So, setting off on Friday afternoon, Sarah, Anne and myself were starting to realise that our hastily formed plan to put a 4-woman team into Mayhem was actually happening -- this weekend. Oh.

With the British weather excelling itself, as much as we were worried about the race we were pretty damned worried about the weather. Anne, as (self)-designated driver was also a little concerned about driving into a field full of mud and maybe not being able to drive out again. Ho hum, well, we'd paid, no-one had been smart (brave) enough to drop out before the day, so it looked like we were in. An uneventful journed, we arrived, pitched our tents, introduced ourselves to the other group, and did boring things like eat, chatter nervously, and put our race "strategy" together. A few of the guys from the club had been out for the practice lap, and were saying things like "unrideable". Hmmm, maybe it was going to be a hell hole out there. Oh, and the main arena was reported to be ankle deep liquid mudd. Joy. Time for food and good sleep and see what the morning brings.

Morning. It had rained plenty during the night, but I awoke to clear-ish skies and it was warm. Phew. Oh, so now it wasn't warm, clouds were building, it was turning into one of those will it, won't it kind of days, with a warm, no cold, no warm, no cold breeze. A typical British "Summer" then. Breakfast and a fair amount of faffing later it was almost midday. Time to get to the start.

Ruth had drawn the short straw, by virtue of being the fittest out of the four of us, so was our first rider, being the only one capable of doing the run at the start. Well if you will do triathlons... The downside of this is, running aside, that you set off in a big bunch with everyone jostling around, and it's a pretty stressful lap compared to a later one, where folks have thinned out a bit. That combined with the mud meant that Ruth came back and just said that was it, she wasn't going out again. Hmm. At changover she also passed the magic stick, which was to be the most essential piece of mud fighting technology ever invented. It still amazes me that the magic stick didn't really catch on, but it didn't, even though it worked a dream. So, how did it go, my first lap??

The conditions were horrible. Even before setting off I was muddy, the bike was muddy. If I'd had high expections I'd have been dreading it, but I'd pretty much decided the whole thing was going to be hell, and I'd mentally prepared for a 3-hour lap involving a lot of pushing, falling over, and -- if I actually managed to ride any of it -- a fair amount of falling off. I had VERY low expectations. Then a miracle happened. I LOVED it!! My bike, having been set up for the Peaks when I rode last year, was suitably set up with skinny mud tyres, and it rode like a dream. The twisty singletrack through the trees was rideable, and it was nice to remember the course and think "oh, now I'm here," etc. I did get a bit nervous on the section where I came off last year and smashed my hand up, but once I got past there I relaxed again and carried on slipping/sliding/riding as best I could. On through the arena, where I bumped into Keith (one of the other MMB riders) swearing at his bike, over the Lezyne bridge, then out, up the hill towards the obelisk. I was definitely faster than last year. Don't just love it when hills are smaller!? I mean last year it was dry, so with the mud and the water, it should have been bigger, right? But no, it was definitely smaller. On and up I went.

Now last year this section of the ride was the best part. I hated the first part, loved the second part. Rob (@bigrobracing) had said the second half as "dry in places" so I had dared to look forward to this part, but honestly, it didn't look like any of that part of the ride had been anywhere near dry in a month. It was Muddy, yes, with a capital "m". Lots of pushing, which was nice. It levelled everyone and, I think, meant that the atmosphere out on the course was really friendly. Everyone was like, "hey, we're all insane to even be attempting this" rather than "hey, get out of my way, I want to podium," which was nice. Somewhere in the woods up there I bumped into Kathryn, from one of the other MMB teams, who has having a suitably shit one. She'd been out for a while and was very unimpressed with the riding conditions. She'd run out of water too, so I gave her my spare on-bike bottle, wished her well, then set off. Onward. Just after this point I bumped into Grace (@competitivegrace). She was having a tough one, on her second lap of her first ever solo attempt. Now Grace is hard-as. She just goes on and on like the Duracell bunny, but with a much prettier smile. I hung out to ride with her for a while, gave her the rest of my food bar, and chatted to her a bit as we rode through the last section of woods. Then, as we got to the big descent into the arena, I was off again. Actually I didn't mean to, but I just got the wind behind me and pedalled away, and when I looked around Grace was nowhere behind. Back in the arena, handover to Sarah, wishing here the best and handing over the magic stick, it was time to get back to the camp and get cleaned up and fed.

Sarah came back, having enjoyed her lap, then Anne. The plan was for Ruth to go next but that wasn't going to happen so we agreed to skip the night laps and pick it up again in the morning after a sleep. If one of us went out at 3am we'd have enough time for another lap each. Ruth wanted to sleep, so I said I'd go out, then she could meet me at 5am for her next lap.

Then the plan started to go wrong. I went to bed, woke up for my lap but couldn't find the baton thing. I checked in the main tent, where Andy (Ruth's OH) was up, and he said she wasn't getting up for another lap. So I went back to sleep (or what passes as sleep when it's hurling down with rain outside a teeny tiny tent) and only got up when I heard Sarah's tent zip go at about 5am. We had a coffee, decided what to do next, and then... well, we were going again. Fuck it. Let's do it. So out I went. A little later than planned, but out I went. Sarah was there to meet me, so we packed in another two laps, taking us up to fourth place. Anne, who had had a terribe first lap and was injured, was ready to go again, despite that actually being a terrible idea because of said injury, but as it turned out we couldn't have made it to third even if she had gone out, so she was spared. And that, as they say, was that. Fourth place, four very muddy bikes, and good fun had by.. well, me and Sarah. I think we may be the only two people who genuinely "enjoyed" our weekend at Mayhem! Roll on SITS!!!